Job interviews...don't

Since the unemployment lines in Portugal keep getting longer (by the way, are the 1000 new graduates already working?) I leave you with some advices of what to avoid doing during a job interview, based on true stories:

- When asked "what would you bring to the job" don't reply "If you hire me, you're hiring nothing less than 100 percent pure stud". Well, unless you're auditioning for a porno movie role or something like that;
- Start crying;
- Argue with the hiring manager, get up and leave. And, call later to see if you got the job;
- Bring your kids with you;
- Show up with your mom, for moral support;
- Say that you only want the job for the employee discount;
- Ask for directions to another interview;
- Remove your hearing aid;
- Forgot what position you are applying for, but still want to know how soon you could have the hiring manager's office;
- Say the interviewer must be busy because his office is really messy;
- Come in wearing pajama bottoms and flip flops;
- Arrived in a revealing shirt. Again, unless you're auditioning for a porno movie role or something like that;
- Open your comment with a dirty joke;
- Inquire about the location of the company's security cameras;
- Admit you would not pass the mandatory drug test;
- Bring wine to the interview and offer the hiring manager a glass;
- Make a pass at the hiring manager.

And I take this chance to share two situations I know happened in portuguese companies:

- Wet your pants, seconds before the interview even starts;
- To throw up your breakfast in the interview's table...

In a nut shell, if possible try to be yourself...if not, lie, fake and make up as much as you think necessary! Nervous, what's to get nervous about? The most it can happen is you not getting the job.