The times they are a-changing

Everyday we have our mailbox filled with spam and "trash-mail" (penis enlargements, viruses, proposals of obscure businesses with unknown african leaders, russian written messages, etc...). However, yesterday I received one that really caught my attention. It's about a real breakthrough that intends to put this sort of business on the road to the new millennium.

Here it is, sent by this company that, I still wonder why, wants me to computerize my church. Of course I wrote back, thanking them for the honor of being chosen and asking for more details about the contents of their products.

They apparently use well developed software already tested. Something like "Church Tradicional 7.0". Well, I thought a while about this and it's pretty true the church must evolve and start using managing tools, or it will be (even more) behind. I even suggested them to introduce new tools to their software:

- Warehouse managing, to prevent the lack of sacramental products, such as holy bread, wine, crosses, etc...;
- Confessions and online counseling with a virtual priest;
- Believer's confession deadline control management tool, with a countdown to purgatory;
- Believer's payments management tool;
- Donation statistics;
- Newsletter.com;
- Last sacrament's online booking;
- Online payments;
- E-mail lecturing;
- Believer's automatic shooting;
- Sins current account;
- Real-time miracle simulator;
- Online Bible;
- Virtual trips to year 0 Judea;
- IRC channel with _God as a manager and even some of His apostles (I even suggested the name #our_father_name);
- Believer's analysis;
- Personality test: "what kind of an apostle are you?";
- Last Supper: believer's culinary guide;
- Another IRC channel, for contacting "the other side" and your beloved ones #here_and_beyond;
- Chance to produce holy bread according to a believer's personal taste (cinnamon, vanilla, onion, pinneapple, tuna, etc);

Well, this is indeed something I never thought about before, but it's been on my mind ever since. A new market to be explored and me, once more, without taking part of it...