Monday, May 30, 2005

Den end nau...Cheers!

Sometimes you wanna go...where everybody knows your name...Uma das minhas séries de humor preferidas, Cheers (em Portugal levou com o "aquele bar" no resto do nome) popularizou, entre 1982 e 1993, actores como Ted Danson, Kirstie Allen, Kelsey Grammer ou Woody Harrelson, e é a próxima série (re)visitada por esta rubrica do desBlogueador de conversa.

Comecemos pelo antigo jogador dos Boston Red Sox e dono do bar, Sam "Mayday" Malone, popularizado por Ted Danson, aliás Edward Bridge Danson III. Agora com 57 anos, Danson tornou-se um ambientalista convicto, tendo fundado a "American Ocean's Campaign", em 1987. Tem igualmente um hobby, no minímo peculiar, pelo menos para quem se tornou famoso por papéis de machão inveterado: o sapateado.

A primeira das empregadas/paixonetas de Malone foi a loura Diane Chambers (ou Shelley Long), agora na casa dos 55. Depois de ter abandonado a série em 1987, à procura de uma carreira cinematográfica de sucesso, o que nunca aconteceu (talvez à excepção da parceria com Tom Hanks em Um dia a casa vem abaixo), acabou por ver a sua vida deteriorar-se com o fim do seu casamento de 23 anos e, depois de muitas plásticas e um doloroso processo de divórcio, a actriz tentou suicidar-se, no ano passado.

Com o abandono de Long, a produção da série contratou uma actriz que era quase o oposto da mesma, uma morena espampanante e desbocada que se tornaria famosa na pele de Rebecca Howe. Tratava-se de Kirstie Alley, agora com 54 anos. Curiosamente, e para quem, nos filmes Olha quem fala, era casada com um piloto (John Travolta), Kirstie tem pavor a andar de avião. O seu primeiro filme foi Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, em 1982, no papel da Tenente Saavik. Diga-mos que, agora, Kirstie está...ligeiramente maior e é a estrela de uma nova série de televisão, curiosamente chamada Fat Actress, vá-se lá saber porquê! (obrigado João)

Durante os primeiros 3 anos da série, o lugar atrás do balcão era ocupado por um antigo treinador de Malone, Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso (ou Nicholas Colasanto). O actor, um antigo e condecorado veterano da marina dos Estados Unidos da 2ª Guerra Mundial, acabaria por falecer em 1985, sendo substituído pelo jovem Woody Harrelson, agora com 43 anos. O nome da nova personagem - Woodrow Tiberius 'Woody' Boyd - era relativamente fácil de decorar para o actor - Woodrow Tracy Harrelson - e até o local de onde ele era proveniente, Hanover, não deveria causar-lhe problemas...afinal, ele era originário do mesmo local! Para um puro e inocente moço do campo, quem diria que, apenas um ano após o fim da série, o haveríamos de ver num filme como "Natural born killers"? Talvez, sabendo do passado do seu pai, poderíamos ter uma ideia disso. É que Charles Voyde Harrelson foi preso duas vezes (em 1968 e 1978) por assassinato (era um assassino contratado) sendo que, da segunda vez, matou um Juiz Federal. Além disso ele era um dos "vagabundos" que foi referenciado pela polícia de Dallas como estando na célebre "colina verdejante" após o assassinato do Presidente Kennedy, em 1963. Coincidência, supostamente, ele que até morava a apenas 500 km do local. O próprio Woody foi preso algumas vezes enquanto jovem, nesta linda figura, mas é hoje um vegan assumido, activista pela liberalização da marijuana nos Estados Unidos, tendo inclusive sido detido por ter 4 pés da planta em sua casa e admite já ter sido viciado em sexo. Além disso tem ligações fortes com o mundo da música. Os seus amigos que formam a banda Hootie & The Blowfish dedicaram-lhe a música "Woody", no seu álbum de 2003, e ele próprio, de vez em quando, aparece como vocalista da banda Manly Moondog and the Three Kool Hats.
Desde há alguns anos, Woody passou a viver na Costa Rica com a sua mulher e dois filhos.

À mesa servia a pequena (1,55m) Carla Lebec, de nome completo Carla Maria Victoria Angelina Teresa Apollonia Lozupone Tortelli LeBec, papel representado pela actriz, agora com 57 anos, Rhea Perlman. Nomeada 10 vezes em 11 anos para os prémios Emmy, Rhea casou-se com o igualmente diminuto Danny DeVito, em 1982.

Dos clientes habituais, destacava-se o par composto por Cliff e Norm. O primeiro, Clifford C. Clavin Jr., era representado por John Ratzenberger ("Ratz" para os amigos e colegas). Agora com 58 anos, e não tendo nenhum grau de parentesco com o novo papa, "Ratz" pode orgulhar-se de ser a única pessoa a ter a sua voz em todos os filmes de animação da Pixar. Assim, podemos ouvi-lo em Toy Story (1995), A Bug's Life (1998), Toy Story 2 (1999), Monsters, Inc. (2001), Finding Nemo (2003) e The Incredibles (2004). Além disso, é cinturão vermelho em karaté e um ambientalista empenhado. Nada mau para um carteiro que vivia com a mãe...

Já o seu companheiro de copos, o actor George Wendt (ou Hilary Norman Peterson), agora na casa dos 56 anos, é casado com a mesma actriz cuja voz aparecia como sendo da sua mulher na série, Vera Peterson (Bernadette Birkett). Fez também de pai de Macaulay Culkin no vídeo de Black or white, do agora arguido Michael Jackson.

Estes dois actores detêm o recorde de terem representado as suas personagens em 6 séries de televisão diferentes, e sempre juntos: Cheers (1982), Frasier (1993), Wings (1990), The Tortellis (1987), The Simpsons (1989) and St. Elsewhere (1982). Em 2000, ambos os actores, foram a tribunal tentar adquirir os direitos sobre as suas personagens na série, dado que elas tem sido usadas em publicidade a bares de aeroporto, sem a sua autorização.

Outro cliente habitual, a partir de 1984, acabou por tornar-se o mais bem sucedido de todos, o Dr. Frasier Winslow Crane, representado pelo agora cinquentão Kelsey Grammer. Vencedor de 3 prémios Emmy, Grammer foi o primeiro actor na história de televisão a receber nomeações para os mesmos por representar a mesma personagem em séries diferentes: 2 em Cheers, outra em Wings e ainda oito (de onde vieram os 3 prémios) em Frasier.
Ao todo, Grammer encarnou a pele de Frasier Crane durante 18 anos seguidos, o que é igualmente um recorde, talvez só batido por Camilo de Oliveira no nosso país.
Uma frase que Grammer gosta de repetir é a seguinte "é suposto a vida tornar-se difícil". Presumo que o facto de ganhar cerca de 2 milhões de euros por episódio (qualquer coisa como 40 milhões de euros/ano) atenuará o sacrifício. Em 2001, era mesmo o actor de televisão mais bem pago. Mesmo assim, em 1990, o actor cumpriu uma pena de 30 dias de prisão por violar a liberdade condicional que tinha por conduzir embriagado. Em 1996 passou 2 semanas na clínica Betty Ford por consumo de estupefacientes e álcool. Mas também, tendo em conta que o seu pai foi assassinado, que a sua irmã foi assassinada e que o seu irmão foi morto por um tubarão...talvez seja de compreender. Um consulta no psicólogo era capaz de ser boa ideia!

Já a sua ex-mulher, a fria e distante Dra. Lilith Sternin-Crane (Bebe Neuwirth), agora com 46 anos, continua em excelente forma, sendo uma das estrelas da série Law & Order: trial by jury.

Enfim, fica o resumo do que aconteceu às principais personagens do bar onde toda a gente sabe o seu nome:

"Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;
The morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn't even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl."


Da mesma série de posts "Den end nau": Knight rider (O justiceiro)
Allo! Allo!, Family Ties (Quem sai aos seus), Alf, All in the family (Uma família às direitas) e o resto é já a seguir...

Friday, May 27, 2005

Modern chastity belt

Let's turn on the GPS device and see where is my wife, my daughters, my lover...Come on, I'm just as friend of new high-tech as the next guy but... GPS panties? Is the World gone mad=
And the publicity, God, the question they do with this "product's" publicity!

- Ever worry about your wife cheating?
- Want to know where your daughter is late at night?
- Need to know when your girlfriend's temperature is rising?

What about the prices these gyuys charge?

Basic forget-me-not panties: $99.99
Advanced forget-me-not panties (w/ heat + heart rate sensors): $179.99


What the hell is this, my friends? I'm not sure of what kind of men buys a thing like this to his loved ones, and even less of what sort of women is ready to use them. What I'm sure of is that, in case you think this is a good idea, you should get professional help, soon!

Monday, May 23, 2005

I have a dream...

Faz-me favas com chouriço, o meu prato favoritoThat one day all portuguese will have this music in their computer's. And, for that purpose, the unBlogger is proud to share the download of the best music ever. You just have to do a save target as on the link above, to relax and to savour this true masterpiece, preferibly with your sound system loud and clear!

José Cid - Fava beans with Portuguese pork sausage (translation)

Come on, love, it's seven thirty, you have to go and work.
You wake me up with a kiss and a smile on your eyes.
And you get me out of bed, and then take off my pijamas,
I shave and on the radio is Zé Cid singing.

I get into the bus, and I go thinking of you,
taking the kids to the kindergarten.
I get to the department, give the clerk a kiss,
Don't even touch the secretary that's so hot.


(chorus)
Little by little a big love is built,
From things so little and ordinary,
It just takes a smile, a simple look
A way of loving by two.
A way of loving by two.


And at five sharp, you call to say to me:
I don't know how to live without you, love, I don't know what to do.
Do me fava beans with Portuguese pork sausage, my favourite meal.
When I get home, it's dinner time, I almost don't believe it.
You're dressed in white, a flower in your hair
The kids are in bed and the fire is on.
I will live all of my life this way,
Me and you, and you and me, and you and me and you.

(2 xs chorus)


José Cid Rules...Great domination!

And I'm pretty sure, one day, all portuguese that is proud of being so will have this music in his computer.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The dream ends today...

Effort, dedication, devotion and glory...here is Sporting!

Whatever the score is, this evening's game, in the wonderful new José Alvalade Stadium (Alvalade XXI is the name of the sports complex, not the stadium), is the end of a many months dream. Now we can only wait that the players do us the favour of making us (even more) happy and that, when the match ends, we can be able to celebrate a little more...and that the European Cup does not repeat itself!

From this moment on I'm on a countdown...hoping my nails and heart can handle it!

Go Sporting!!!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Daily thought...

It's on those times I have nothing to write in here I understand the guys that choose what's on the TV news...because, without a subject, there's little to do except to make up news!

PS: The fact I thought of this post while sitting on the "porcelan trone" may have helped...

Friday, May 13, 2005

The times they are a-changing

Hey _God, man, fck, dmn it! u jking, rght? :PEveryday we have our mailbox filled with spam and "trash-mail" (penis enlargements, viruses, proposals of obscure businesses with unknown african leaders, russian written messages, etc...). However, yesterday I received one that really caught my attention. It's about a real breakthrough that intends to put this sort of business on the road to the new millennium.

Here it is, sent by this company that, I still wonder why, wants me to computerize my church. Of course I wrote back, thanking them for the honor of being chosen and asking for more details about the contents of their products.

They apparently use well developed software already tested. Something like "Church Tradicional 7.0". Well, I thought a while about this and it's pretty true the church must evolve and start using managing tools, or it will be (even more) behind. I even suggested them to introduce new tools to their software:

- Warehouse managing, to prevent the lack of sacramental products, such as holy bread, wine, crosses, etc...;
- Confessions and online counseling with a virtual priest;
- Believer's confession deadline control management tool, with a countdown to purgatory;
- Believer's payments management tool;
- Donation statistics;
- Newsletter.com;
- Last sacrament's online booking;
- Online payments;
- E-mail lecturing;
- Believer's automatic shooting;
- Sins current account;
- Real-time miracle simulator;
- Online Bible;
- Virtual trips to year 0 Judea;
- IRC channel with _God as a manager and even some of His apostles (I even suggested the name #our_father_name);
- Believer's analysis;
- Personality test: "what kind of an apostle are you?";
- Last Supper: believer's culinary guide;
- Another IRC channel, for contacting "the other side" and your beloved ones #here_and_beyond;
- Chance to produce holy bread according to a believer's personal taste (cinnamon, vanilla, onion, pinneapple, tuna, etc);

Well, this is indeed something I never thought about before, but it's been on my mind ever since. A new market to be explored and me, once more, without taking part of it...

Now, this is a celebrities farm...

Isto sim é uma quinta catita

Cicciolina (54 years old, godamit!!!)...Ron Jeremy (1600 movies, yaicks!!!)...among 8 other "vip's"...even Dallas' Lucy is there!
Forget the Castelos Brancos, Lilis Caneças, Elsas Raposos Ltd.? What's that, man?

PS: What are the chances of writing the name of the italian porno-politician?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Finally...the answer

Cócórócócó...Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because she didn't know it was illegal...and now she pays, like the rest of us.

Here's a picture of what really happened...

PS: An american deputy fined a chicken for crossing the road, stopping traffic in a californian road, near a 50 person's village. The chicken's owner will be on court on May 16th. One thing is for sure, unless the usage of drugs is very common in that village or its police department doesn't have much to take care of!
We like it on the horizontal...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, the square of the hipot...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....nous is.....ronccccccccccccccProfessor Darren Lipnicki, from Australia's National University's Psychology College "discovered" that people think better laying down that when they are up on their feet. According to his studies, upright we are smarter and more creative than in a vertical position.

Fact 1: Cicciolina, Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson, for instance, are clearly losing time with their careers. At this time, they could be, the 3 together, finding the cure for several diseases, putting Man on Mars and covering the Ozone Layer hole (at least this one)..., among many other things;
Fact 2: When a guy spends time making a woman's head so they go to bed with him, he is, in facto, trying to improve her mental growth;
Fact 3: Next time you boss finds you asleep at work...keep the news that inspired this post printed and show it to him. Perhaps he buys it!


And thanks a lot, Professor Lipnicki!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I'm a believer...

Let's follow Brian's shoe!!!Forget the Holy Grail, forget the 10 commandment boards...At last, the world's greatest religious icon was found!. Brian's holy shoe...let's follow Brian's shoe!!!


Cheer up Brian, you know what they say!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Job interviews...don't

Nervous? Well, there's no need to be nervous...Since the unemployment lines in Portugal keep getting longer (by the way, are the 1000 new graduates already working?) I leave you with some advices of what to avoid doing during a job interview, based on true stories:

- When asked "what would you bring to the job" don't reply "If you hire me, you're hiring nothing less than 100 percent pure stud". Well, unless you're auditioning for a porno movie role or something like that;
- Start crying;
- Argue with the hiring manager, get up and leave. And, call later to see if you got the job;
- Bring your kids with you;
- Show up with your mom, for moral support;
- Say that you only want the job for the employee discount;
- Ask for directions to another interview;
- Remove your hearing aid;
- Forgot what position you are applying for, but still want to know how soon you could have the hiring manager's office;
- Say the interviewer must be busy because his office is really messy;
- Come in wearing pajama bottoms and flip flops;
- Arrived in a revealing shirt. Again, unless you're auditioning for a porno movie role or something like that;
- Open your comment with a dirty joke;
- Inquire about the location of the company's security cameras;
- Admit you would not pass the mandatory drug test;
- Bring wine to the interview and offer the hiring manager a glass;
- Make a pass at the hiring manager.


And I take this chance to share two situations I know happened in portuguese companies:

- Wet your pants, seconds before the interview even starts;
- To throw up your breakfast in the interview's table...


In a nut shell, if possible try to be yourself...if not, lie, fake and make up as much as you think necessary! Nervous, what's to get nervous about? The most it can happen is you not getting the job.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Today I slept like this...

In the final, in the final...we are in the final
Effort, dedication, devotion and glory...that is my team

Sporting C.P. - CSKA Moscow, 18th May 2005. The dream ends there...the party starts soon after, we hope!

Add it a bit of luck, emotion and, most of all...heart. That's tonight's game!

The dream goes on and on...and I doubt that I get to be 35, with games like this one, before I get some sort of a stroke! Ah, and thank you for making me cry...this way it's a pleasure to do so!

And hurray for Sporting Clube de Portugal, my club, always!!!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

That's globalization for you

A portuguese blog links an australian website, that reported the incident a polish man suffered after being squashed between two indian elephants in Norway...
Give me five!

Give me five!This post...is just meant to take advantage of this moment:

05:05:05; 05-05-05

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

UnBlog the book

Whoa, what a sexy foraminifer on the microsc...no?Portuguese biologist, stripper and writer Leonor Sousa just launched a book, called «Same time, tomorrow - a biologist's diary», where she describes her experience as a biologist in the Tropical Medicine Institut...oh, it seems the name of the book is actually «Same time, tomorrow - a stripper's diary» and is about her experience as a stripper in the «Champagne Club»...

I only find the title of the book weird because I don't know what a stripper life has that can be more thrilling to write about than the sexy and erotic world of studying benthic foraminifers or angiosperms, but well...that's ok! She must know best!

Monday, May 02, 2005

Den end nau...Alf!

Here Lucky Lucky, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky...Proceeding with the posts about tv series that marked my youth, I would like to share the stories related to one that was/is one of my personal favorites. The adventures of a friendly (and insatiable) lil' alien from the planet Melmac, with 10 vital organs of which 8 are stomachs, named Gordon Shumway, alias Alf (Alien Life Form), born on the 28th October 1756 (just 249 y.o., just a child...), that lands on the Tanner's (your typical american family) garage, changing their life for good...

Let's start with the parents, Willie e Kate. The father, played by Max Wright, is on downward spiral. Now 62, Willie has seen a lot more of state prisons that he would like, arrested and booked for drunken driving. In January 2000, he was arrested in Hollywood and in September 2003, he ended up loosing driving privileges in New York State for 6 months following a guilty plea to a drunken-driving charge. Wright was visiting his adult daughter upstate when he ran afoul of local authorities by getting to know a few mailboxes and a traffic sign more intimately.

The mother, Anne Schedeen, spent many years without disclosing her age to the public. We know now she is 56 y.o. Got out of the movies in 1996, and now works as an antiquer and decorator, we can't found a single photo of this red head on the Internet that is more recent than this one...

About the Tanner children, let's start with good-looking Lynn (Andrea Elson). As so many famous teenagers, after loosing her bracers, she suffered from bulimia. Now a 36 y.o. beautiful woman, Andrea is a vegan enthusiast that ended up marrying one of Alf's production assistants.

Little Brian (Benji Gregory), now aged 27, had his own grandmother for an agent, started up on a Fantasy Island episode (and no, he was not the little man who waved at the plane) and starred in episodes of The Twilight Zone and The A-Team. When Alf was cancelled, Ben said it was a relief. He didn't want to do any more shows, but he didn't regret any of it.

What about the Tanner's neighbors, the pesky and nosy Ochmonek? Trevor, or John LaMotta makes a living playing Shakespeare, in Elm Shakespeare Company... who would say? His wife, Raquel (Liz Sheridan), now aged 76, besides playing Jerry Seinfeld's mother, she was once, imagine that, engaged to James Dean...

And Alf himself, you wonder? Have you ever wondered who was on that furry suit?
Well, in the 4 years the show was on, there were no more no less than 3 aliens. While Alf's voice was Paul Fusco's, now 53 y.o, the long-nosed alien's shorts were filled by hungarian midget Mihaly 'Michu' Meszaros and a 5 years old Abraham Verduzco, that later ended up working in movies as El Mariachi or Desperado, both starring Antonio Banderas, on very small roles (can't even get a picture of the guy)...

To end, as the ol' Alfer would say...
"My life is history. I'm a cursed melmacian, I belong to the room of the goshdarned".

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Den end nau...Family ties

Then and now...Family Ties!By Gotinha's special request, here's a post concerning this tv series that we followed thru 7 years (1982 - 1989) and where we met the boy who would be the Back to the future saga's hero, Alex P. Keaton or, if you prefer, Michael J. Fox. Being played again until a few weeks ago in portuguese cable tv, here is the data on how the Family ties cast are, nowadays.

A lot has been said about the best known Keaton, in this last couple of years, specially because of him being diagnosed with an early rare case of Parkinson's disease, in 1991, while he was only 30. Michael J. Fox ended up opening a research center to help studying that awful disease and, by November 2000, it had already raised 50 million dollars. The small actor (1,64m tall), is from Canada and, since 1988, married to actress Tracy Pollan (Alex's first girlfriend). About his future wife-to-be, he once said "One day she came back from lunch with bad breath and I said 'Whoa, scampi for lunch?', and she said 'You are the rudest son of asshole I have ever met in my life' and I was immediately attracted to her like 'Who is this woman?!'"
Michael wasn't the first choice to play Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. He was only chosen after Matthew Broderick, who was originally considered for the role, refused to have a long-term TV obligation. Ah, he does play the guitar, since he was 8, being the famous Back to the future scene, one of the funniest he ever made. And, by the way, the J in the middle of his name stands for...Andrew.

About the Keaton parents, Steven e Elyse, Michael Gross e Meredith Baxter, they actually were born on the same exact date, and are now 58 years old...each. Besides that, Gross stars in 4 movies called Tremors, which, in what quality is concerned have...none, but who tv's are so friendly of showing us, from time to time.

Sweet and dumb lil' Mallory Keaton, played by Justine Bateman, suffered, as so many of them young sex-symbols, from anorexia and bulimia for 10 years. She is now on her forties and looking well.

Little Jennifer, or Tina Yothers, now a healthy 31 years old woman, besides showing up in a episode of Southpark, is also a chucky brunette, singing in a band called Jaded, that launched its first album, Confessions, in 2000.

Adorable Andy Keaton (Brian Bonsall) is now a 24 years old "dude", got a black armband tattoo and plays in a band called the Late Bloomers, since 1998.

Of Ellen Reed (Tracy Pollan) we already said she married Alex Keat...sorry, Michael J. Fox, from whom she has 4 kids. Before that, she had already dated Kevin Bacon. Actresses...

Alex's next girlfriend, psychology major Lauren Miller (Courteney Cox) ended up being, next to him, the one who become the more successful, starring in Friends and in the Scream trilogy. Before that she had been a model, done commercials (was the first person to ever say "period" on American TV, in a Tampax commercial) and starred as the girl Bruce Springsteen pulled from the crowd to dance with him in the 1984 music video "Dancing in the Dark". Now, the 41 years old blue-eyed beauty has obviously not lost qualities!

Trash sculptor and Mallory's boyfriend, Nick Moore (Scott Valentine), now 47 years old, was about to screen test for a role in the feature film, "Lords of Discipline" but was accidentally hit by a truck on September 17, 1981. After three years of convalescing, he left New York for Los Angeles where he landed the part of Nick Moore on the hit series. Of course, the accident may have influenced his character's particular use of the english language. In 1988, he featured in May 1988 edition of "Playgirl" magazine.

And my favorite character, Irwin "Skippy" Handleman, or Marc Price (the spitting image of my college buddy and big friend, Ricardo Rocha, in his teenager years), is now 37 years old and, let's face it, the same nerdy face ever!

You know, something's they never change!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Thursday, April 21, 2005

desBlogueador turns to the dark side...

Then and now...Today, the conversation unBlogger, in its downwards spiral (without return), previews a special post which will become, without any doubt, another wonderful reason (not) to visit us. From now on and, if possible, everyday, we will post images from celebrities who disappeared from tv, in the age limbo (put satanic laugh, here…)!

For a first time occasion:

Do you remember Michael Knight’s boss, in the tv series that made us discover who was going to be the future Mitch Buchanan (damn the casting crew)? His name was Devon Miles and spent his time in that big black truck where the car driven by David Hasselhoff would go to change oil...
Well, the actor who played it, Edward Mulhare, died at the age of 74, on the 24th of May, 1997.
And the hot Patricia McPherson, who played KITT’s mechanic (yeah, right!!!)? Well, nowadays she is a merry fifty -something. This was the babe then, and this is the lady now.

Resuming: We are not getting younger, that’s for sure!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Existential question

Speeding on the information superhighwayThese last few days I was forced to get a new hard drive for my PC. Today, at lunch, I started doing the math and got pretty concerned with the results:

Well, if the new hard drive is something like 10 cm wide and reaches a 7200 rpm speed...

Disc perimeter = 2 x PI x radius = 2 x 3,1416 x (0,10 m / 2) = 0,3142 m;

At 7200 rpm: 7200 x 0,3142 m = 2,2619 Km/minute = 135,72 Km/h.


This being that I am in Madeira Island (a speed limit of 100 Km/h on the freeway), having my PC at home (inside a town) and near children, is it possible for me to get a speeding ticket?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

There's smoke...

Thick smoke...what do theses guys smoke, anyway? Live from Vaticano


The first images have arrived and the conversation unBlogger can announce, in a exclusive news flash, that we have, for the first time in history, a north american pope, Cardinal John Krusty. Exclusive photo...here!

Monday, April 18, 2005

A weekend in a telegram-post...

A nice Saturday walk on the island - STOP - a emerald coloured sea and a shinny sun - STOP - a daughter getting more beautiful everyday - STOP - Benfica's home draw - STOP - a very good day - STOP

Sunday at home - STOP - hard disk gone to meet his maker - STOP - 6 hours of opening and closing the computer - STOP - son of a b***h, c*** s*****r, a*****e - STOP - why don't you go and make a nice horse a b*****b - STOP - what a shitty day - STOP

Not quite what happened but what the hell...

Just to get the mind refreshed, put the pedal to the metal, it's just another Monday!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

SPORTING CLUBE DE PORTUGAL...my team, ALWAYS!

To the heros that kept the dream of seing the UEFA cup on portuguese hands, once more, alive.

YES...

To them, I can only give...my thank you!
Mister Laden, you are not allowed to play with that...

After seven years (SEVEN!!!) of negotiating, the United Nation's approved a project bill, 28 pages long (at an amazing average of 4 pages a year) to forbid the buy and usage of nuclear weapons by...terrorists!!!

I guess it's time that someone explain Mr. Kofi Annan & Friends the concept of "terrorism".

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

905...906...907...

Henry, the one and onlyHe is da man!!! For the 4th time, and I bet it won’t be the last one, desBlogueador leaves you with the latest adventures of this true modern day American hero. Henry Earl, the same. The one and only!
Though currently Henry is out of the prison (at least he was, by the time I posted this), it is most likely that 5 minutes later the situation has changed. That’s why I’m going to leave the numbers do the talking:

Alcohol related offenses:: 905
Number of days spent in jail:: 3370

Average # of days per year spent in jail: 240.71
Average duration of incarceration period: 3.72 days
Average duration of time not spent in jail: 1.63 days


(Un)useful links:
Fan site
Rap sheet
Music video
Theme song

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Some people are just giving awards away...

Gazeta dos BlogueirosFirst of all, I would like to thank, and I'm sure I speak for the entire desBlogueador team, God. Without the universe's creation, I guess this moment just wouldn't be possible. Then, our parents (after all, there are 12 of them) and the remaining of our numerous families and our many friends, without which the number of visitors would lower to a number multipliable by 6, I'm sure. I would also like to thank my colleagues, that give some quality to this blog (although not that much) and, before the music that cuts my speech kicks in, I thank Eng. António Vitorino, Dr. Pedro Santana Lopes, George W. Bush, the lady that works in the corners coffee shop, the boy that happens my work's gate everyday, and, in special, to the bald man that I ran into this morning. For the constant inspiration that his shinny "nuca" is. I also would like to thank the Gazeta dos Blogueiros team, though I think that they must look at their evaluation standards or, if not that, at least leave the alcohol. Let's be honest, to give an award to such a blog...just doesn't look right! I also advise them to get a good psychiatrist, quickly.

Being as it may, thanks...

Monday, April 11, 2005

Mutual KO technical draw

Help us with patience, oh Lord...Fact 1: A portuguese international soccer player, with a big status in his club, following a unworthy but clean defeat, starts shooting in the most unlikely direction, regarding his opponent players will of winning the same game, complaining of them being too "pumped up" to win it and talking about certain "3rd party incentives" and an unusual spirit to win, as if that wasn't (or should be) the normal way of things. What for? He might as well be shut!

Fact 2: A club's president calls the press, before a very important game, and in which it's club (and mine) can consider itself helped by the referee's work, starts shooting in every directions, as usual, talking about scandals and more scandals, some that he, in his own words, doesn't even remember exactly in which game it happened. What for? He might as well be shut!

At least on this subject, the absurd one, the 2nd circular championship is tied, and definitely...bottom leveled!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Identifying nicks?

Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla John SmithThere is something I just can't understand. The nicks we have in MSN, for instance, should be useful for other persons to identify us, when we log in, right? So, why do people insist in signing in with nicks like:

- I'm going on holidays to Hawaii! Just look at how lucky I am, la la la...;
- Hawaii was canceled. Just my bad luck, I'm going to have to stay here, like any ordinary portuguese, la la la...;
- My life just isn't the same, love you very much, Manoel;
- Congratulations, Cindy!;
- There are people so stupid, I'm not in the mood to stand this;
- Love is such sweet sorrow, when you lose someone you love;
- Love is a fire that burns without being seen...;
- My soul hurts, goddamit!;
- I'm here, ho ho ho;
- Follow the white rabbit;
- Be careful what you say, because things you say can turn against yourself and then you loose the ones you love and you don't know what to do, you bastard! Have you seen the shit you got yourself into?;
- What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel;


And then they get very upset because: "I'm here for a long time and you don't even speak to me!". And I'm supposed to guess who they are? Do you truly believe I click on every single weird nick that pops up, just to see who it is? Bah!

P.S. - Upsy! I think some of my friends are going to be offended with this post...or then again, not!
Driving in Madeira Island is a semi-sexual experience

In and out....innnnnn and ouuuuuut...

Being that, in a half-hour ride, a guy spends most of the time going in and out of holes...

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Looking for true happiness...

Oh happy happy! Oh joy, joy...

Isn't it what we're all looking for?

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The unbelievable Pope...what?

The Incredible Popeman?

With his anti-devil cape and special chastity pants. He's armed with a faith staff, holy water and communion wine...he is the Incredible Popeman...

And soon, we will have Incredible Popeman action dolls...
What the hell is this colombian guy smoking, anyway?

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Lookin' for a new Pope, right?

José Mourinho, the FirstCurriculum Vitae (resumido):

- Mourinho, Translators, Inc.;
- England-Dutch Company of Cataluña Assistant Managers;
- Don Mourinho Oporto Wine;
- London PetroMourinhovic Ltd.;
- Football Marcelo Analist, in SIC news;
- Our Lord and Savior, in Jerusalem;
and;
- SMS Mourinho...

Soon, the launch of the new erotic phone number: 24-24-Mourinho!!!

With 117 pope candidats, are you sure that this national all-star hero's name isn't one of them? I wouldn't bet against it...

Monday, April 04, 2005

By the power invested in me, I declare you husband and wife...

In 1981, on the 29th of July, public television brought us, live and in color, "The Beauty and the Beast".

This year, on the 9th of April, TVI, always aware on the defense of its viewer's happiness, will bring us, also live, "Monsters INC".

Friday, April 01, 2005